Shu Cup - 1st place.
Heinie Trophy - 2nd place. The Heinie Trophy was constructed by the 4 captains in the inaugural Shuley Cup. Captain Pauly forged the Heinie Trophy with tools from Captain Ken's basement. Captain Ron dutifully watched the Heinie mini keg in the fridge while Captain Ryan did more than his fair share emptying it. Winning the Heinie Trophy is often bittersweet and most captains (as well as girlfriends/wives) are more than happy to dig it out of the basement and return it the following year for another shot at the Shu Cup.
Shuley - MVP
The most coveted of all awards, the Shuley Award goes to the one individual who has led his team to the Shuley Cup. Players on losing teams need not apply. Whether it's scoring goals or delivering thunderous checks in a non-check tournament or eating the most pizza at the bar, this individual knows no boundaries.
Swinny - Playmaker
The Swinny recipient understands that hockey is a team game and that goals were meant to be shared. With slick stick handling skills and hours perfecting toe drags and triple dekes, his moves are unmatched. Performing plays that are highlight-reel worthy, even a French judge would have a hard time denying them a perfect 10.0. Or it goes to the player with the sweetest mullet because that's pretty slick too.
Denny - Clutch player
The Denny goes to the player who isn't necessarily the best player on the ice, but could very well be the smartest. They know that no meaningful goals are scored in the first period and all the glory is up for grabs in the third. They may only score 1 or 2 goals (ever), but they're the only goals you'll remember.
Eizy - Gentlemanly Player
Hockey is a violent sport and can get dirty. The Eizy goes to the individual who exemplifies the grace and sportsmanship for the game that we all love. Whether it is helping you pick your stick up after you dropped it or gently nudging you out of harm's way, the Eizy recipient does not hold back. He may even hold your hand and escort you to the penalty box when you lose your cool. A constant smile is a good start, but it'll take more than that to take this one home.
Platypus - Offensive Player
Contrary to popular belief, the Platypus award is not for the individual who can prance around in a jock strap the most or silence the locker room the fastest with a rude comment or fart the most. It's for the individual who displays offensive prowess hockey wise and puts numbers on the scoresheet. Should there not be a clear consensus, then jock strap wearing ability and methane propulsion will be taken into consideration.
Schrocky - Defensive forward.
The Schrocky goes to the Schrockiest Schrock in all of Schrockville. It's not enough to Schrock Schrockette in the backseat of a Schrocklander, to Schrock where no Schrock has Schrocked before is what this Schrock is all about. Other Schrocks will look to this individual and think "Schrock him, I'm top Schrock".
Nuge - Defensive Player
All pee-wee hockey players know that a solid defense is where offense starts. That defense is integral to winning games and championships. As we get older we tend to forget this and go for the goal scoring glory, usually leaving some poor sap at the wrong end of an odd-man rush. The Nuge award goes to the defenseman who hasn't forgotten what so many coaches have yelled at in countless practices: You're big so we're putting you back on D. Have fun matching up with the best offensive players.
Creamer - Offensive Defenseman
In past Shuley Cups, it is not uncommon for defensemen to chip in a goal or two. The Creamer Award goes to the defenseman who exhibits the most offensive skills, most likely a former forward nearing the twilight of his career who has realized that skating as a forward is too much skating. If several candidates are considered, then turtling ability will be favored.
Matty - Best goal
This award is for the sweetest, sniperiest, slickest move, goal, play, etc. Captain Matty is known far and wide for his sniper shots and sick moves. Some may say that Matty’s actual secret weapon is his blinding white gloves. Whatever he’s doing or using, it’s working. Keep it up.
Schrockerson - Defensive forward.
Renamed the "Schrockerson" to honor retired Captain Schrocky and new Captain Dangles Peterson, the Schrockerson goes to the Schrockiest Schrock in all of Schrockville. It's not enough to Schrock Schrockette in the backseat of a Schrocklander, to Schrock where no Schrock has Schrocked before is what this Schrock is all about. Other Schrocks will look to this individual and think "Schrock him, I'm top Schrock".
1st Draft Pick - Winner of the Consolation Game is awarded the 1st Draft Pick of the following year's draft